Imagine being locked in small room with three other people for 36 hours with no electronics, no way to tell the time, and no connection to the outside world. Imagine the strange topics or thoughts that one’s mind can come up with in a situation like that. Imagine the little things that you don’t normally think about that are brought to your attention. Imagine thinking about your future, thinking about what you want to do with your life. Now, imagine trying to find deep connection, trying to find a way to become impossibly close with these other people. Imagine being in this situation, where you find out things about yourself, things that you may not want to know.
I found that I payed more attention to my other senses in order to find out things like the time, I noticed how much I rely on my phone to distract me when I don’t know what to do or when something is awkward,and I found out that I can get easily frustrated when things aren’t going my way, and when stuck in such a small space, there are things I wouldn’t normally do to get that frustration out. And when I did get out, I found so many things that I love that I take for granted. I love the sun, I love being able to smell good, I love being able to go places, I love having space to lie down on a bed that isn’t right next to someone, but most of all, I love having a variety of other people in my life. I absolutely adore the individuals I was stuck in that room with, but even when you love a crowd of people unconditionally, being with them, and only them, is hard. I found out that it’s not easy to force connection, and although I do feel more connected, I don’t feel the impossible closeness I talked about earlier, that I do have with some people in my life.
Would I do it again? Yes, and I would make it longer, because next time, I want to feel like I’ve walked out of the room with three new best friends.